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These Seven Kinds of Love and the Metaphysics of Eros will Change your Attitude to Life

LOVE (EROS), like the god PAN, is a principle (a god), as in the old philosophies and cosmogony of the Greeks, Phoenicians, and Indians. Eros therefore does not merely apply to an intense Erotic Love, but is an exulted Divine Ideal, that can be a frightening and dangerous POWER. It is considered to be a quickening FIRE, or psychic force that burns out quick, but Socrates referred to Eros as a beautiful idealistic form of love existing in the spiritually mature. Is it not common to hear a person today merely define “love as a result of neuro-chemical reactions” in a boringly realist way, while deriding the idea of “abstract love?”

This derives from a metaphysical view, and creationist stories, yet also from life experience — from long lasting friendships to long lasting relationships and long-lived lives. Love is in this metaphysics, a cosmic and primordial force. In the cosmogony of the Greeks, it is depicted as a PRIMORDIAL GOD, and socially, there were several types of love with the Ancient Greeks:

[1] Éros (personification of procreative principle),
[2] Agapé (caring selfless love)
[3] Epithumia (sexual desire; passionate longing),
[4] Storge (devoted loyalty or familiar love through memories), and —
[5] Phileo or philía (the loving heart of friendship that has endured long hardship)

*Additional Types of Love

[6] Ludus 
[7] Pragma*

“Being in love,” or having the “feelings,” is not sufficient to hold a relationship together. The other types are essential in any relationship. In a loving relationship with a partner, married or heading there, and as all experiences of those who’ve lived it say, the love changes into a much more serious form of love, but also, that the ‘tingling sensation’ does not die. It requires a sense of responsibility, imagination, deep friendship, sacrifice, character, charity, tolerance and benevolence (or kindness). It is that essential tender gentleness and friendship, which is most capable between two persons in a relationship who get through the hard times, given the cause of those hard times aren’t too toxic and extreme, involving patterns of dishonesty, promiscuity, and physical or mental abuse. So, there is a need for self-understanding.

To love a person is to know also the brittleness, the suffering, the pain, and transgressions that both have gone through and will endure, as individuals and together, which is a combination of both Storge and Phileo. It is the conception of that abstract love that sustains the bond and leads to Pragma, or longstanding, enduring love. Pragma can only come about through the efforts of both persons, is practical, and founded in an understanding of longer-term interests, shared goals, personal qualities, and compatibility. Older couples possess this pragma, and long-lasting, they display a combination with “ludus.

Ludus is a playful love.

It is one or several of these we can feel with other people, because the storge for family, which is that devoted and familiar love, is also a key factor in the relationship with a partner, with whom you grow with. Since eros also applies to amorous passion, the strength of this principle manifests as passionate lust, leading to sex, and the ‘act of procreation.’ The longing for that passionate lust to be fulfilled would be epithumia. It can be a mania, or obsessive love, which is a result of an imbalance between “ludus” (playful love) and éros. Eros has to be balanced, because it can become dangerous, just as “Philautia” can be a dangerous or healthy love of self (a cognitive, emotional appraisal of our own worth).

Procreation was also used to represent the birth of the GODS, which were in one sense the personifications of the phases and forces in cosmic origins (i.e., cosmology and cosmogony). Motion acts on matter from within, and that impulse giving rise to life is considered to be the act of EROS. The world in this philosophy is sustained by forces, and Eros personified that Principle of Motion and Force that is the impulse in nature to develop and cause life. The human feeling we term “love” brings into it the element of selfishness and duality by nature of Matter, by the Substance and Life we live, move and breathe in. So, it requires work and discipline.

Long-lasting partners often say they feel “lucky” it lasted, and then explain the fundamental and most vital things that got them to that place. So, if we are defining love solely as a passionate lust, or that high that lasts three-six months into a relationship, we won’t be able to understand those that have found a more serious kinship and bond that deepens and changes what becomes for most, temporary. We will not be able to comprehend the cosmic myth of EROS, nor grasp what LOVE is.

It is not merely about brain chemicals. In the fragments of the Phoenician, Vedic and Greek Cosmogony, Desire and Primordial Fire (Agni, Pothos, Eros) are considered divine. The source of that LOVE was absolutely necessary to the evolutionary impulse, and still remains necessary, and is much needed today.

If we take this into consideration, we can begin by contemplating on these kinds of love. As we can see, I did not choose one or two particular kinds of love, since there can be varied combinations in the relationship.


The Best Years of Our Lives (1946) Rescore, Music by Isaias Garcia.

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